Allowing All Feelings

I have been enjoying a practice of gratitude this month. I used to think that being grateful meant to put a positive slant on life – to put on a happy face or to see the glass as half-full instead of half-empty. I tended to turn my face away from uncomfortable feelings, such as sadness, fear, anger, and frustration, and instead, focus on just the good feelings that I was experiencing. Since working with gratitude, I have discovered that I can be with all my feelings – the pleasant and the unpleasant, both of which are present at the same time. This allows me to experience the full richness of life and to open up to agility, flow, grace, and gratefulness.
My beloved dog, Cat is dying of cancer – he could leave his body in just a few months. I am already grieving the loss of this magnificent being who has graced my life for the last twelve years. At the same time that I am experiencing this intense sadness, I am also experiencing exquisite joy in every moment we still have together. I am holding sadness and joy in my heart at the same moment. If it were not for the sadness, I would not know the joy, and for this I am grateful.
In the midst of the divisiveness between the people of our nation, I am feeling a lot of fear. Yet I also experience hope, for I know that deep down inside all of us, what we really want is to love and to be loved. So I hold hope right alongside of fear – allowing myself to feel the depth and complexity of all of my feelings. And for this, I am grateful.
I am feeling frustration and even some anger around the coronavirus situation. What is also present is this amazing feeling of spaciousness – I have enough time, enough bandwidth, enough space to do deep, inner work during this time. I can hold frustration and anger alongside of spaciousness. Anger, which is constricting, sits alongside spaciousness, which is expanding. Both present at the same time. And for this, I am grateful.
When we allow all of our feelings, we live a more balanced life. If we just look at the positive, we are denying the reality of our lives, and deep down inside, we know that we are not facing life. If we just look at the negative, we are also denying the reality of our lives. We get caught up in anger, fear, and hopelessness and can’t see the beauty that also exists. By learning to allow all of our feelings to be present at once, we won’t turn away from anything, but can hold it all – feeling the richness and complexity of this human existence. When we do this, allowing it all, agility, flow, and grace can come flooding in, opening us up to gratitude.
 Joyce Leonard is a Life Coach, Reiki Practitioner/Teacher, and Hypnotherapist, living in Ben Lomond, with a passion for helping people live awesome lives. www.SantaCruzReikiWorks.com