“Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.” —Alfre Lord Tennyson
Each day as “Eventide” approaches, I find myself looking at my sweet Hubby’s empty chair that sits alongside mine and repeatedly remind myself that I have been so blessed to have experienced the love I have for my husband. Just a short while ago a friend reminded me that even though she had been married twice, had never felt that deep and lasting love I have for my Norman.
Valentine’s Day in the ’40s was the most important day of the year in my life as an 8-year-old. Kress Five and Dime had packets of Valentines for 10 cents. I was fortunate that my allowance was 15 cents, and I would have enough money left over for the five sticks of licorice that I loved each week. During the week preceding the “big” day, our third-grade teacher had a large box with a slot cut on top and decorated with cupids and red hearts sitting on the edge of her wooden desk. Each morning as we filed into our classroom, we would drop our Valentines into that box to be distributed among our classmates. The pressure was on. Who would send me a card and how many would I get?
Time took care of the pressure of Valentine’s Day. I was living in Visitation Villa, a convent for girls, many who were orphans, and many whose families could no longer care for them. A new pressure was on…who would become “Queen of the May” and carry the crown that would go on the head of Christ’s mother, Mary. This left me out. This honor always seemed to fall on the girl who was the most religious, and I had too many strikes against me. I remember the word “mischievous” being used by one of our nuns along with my name.
Years passed and I had no connection with Valentines Day until I met my Hubby, Norman. Six months into our marriage on Valentine’s morning I would find a long gold box of a dozen red roses and a card alongside it on our breakfast table. Norm signed the card with five X’s and O’s and his name. And for the next 40 Valentine’s Days, without fail, that gold box and card, along with the five X’s and O’s appeared.
During those next 40 years on Valentine’s Day, I took great pleasure in shopping for Norm’s favorite meal for the “big” day; steamed clams, a ribeye steak and French fries. I had read T. Werner’s book, “How to Talk to a Man” early in our marriage and tried to follow the first two rules: 1) Do not approach men when they are not in an approachable mode, and 2) Men are from Mars and women are from Venus; translated…men and women think differently. For example, I can call a girlfriend at 1am, and she is always willing just to talk. But wake up a man at 1am just to talk well, you’d better be ready for more than a few choice words. And so our special day was kept special with a good dinner, a warm fireplace, and my reminding Norm how special he was and how hard he worked taking such good care of me.
In 2005, Norm and I moved into our home here in Ben Lomond. Our family room with its walls of windows looks out onto a rose garden filled with 50 rosebushes that bloom from late April through December. This garden has sustained me these last nine years, reminding me of the golden boxes and the X’s and O’s.
This Valentine’s Day, I shall sit in front of our fireplace with my usual martini alongside, rereading 40 Valentine cards, all signed with X’s and O’s and remind myself all the while that, as Tennyson wrote, “Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.”
From my heart to yours, dear readers, Happy Valentine’s Day! XXXOOO
Grilled Ribeye Steak(s) with Stilton Sauce
• One-inch-thick Ribeye Steak at room temperature
Pat steak(s) dry and brush each side with vegetable oil.
Salt ea. side with 1/2 tsp. salt and pepper.
Rest 30 minutes.
On hot grill, sear each side for 2 minutes.
Cover the grill and cook for 2 minutes.
Turn steak over, cover and grill for add’l 2 minutes.
Cook until thermometer reads 120deg. (rare).
Place steak on platter and rest for 5 minutes before serving.
Stilton Sauce
• 2 ounces of Stilton cheese
• 4 ounces Cream cheese
• 1/4 cup mayonnaise
• 1/4 cup sour cream
• 1/2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
• 2 tsp. diced scallions for garnish
Mix well and serve with steak.
Colly Gruczelak, a Ben Lomond resident, loves people and loves to cook. Contact her at cz****@*****st.net.
