Comedy Corner: A character challenge at Kmart

The other day, I went to Kmart to pick up a few things. That was where the day became a character challenge for me. Has this ever happened to you?
I drove through the parking lot and saw there was an empty space near the front of the store. It was the perfect parking spot, but there was a shopping cart right smack in the middle of it.
As it happened, this nice-looking family man and his two children, with a wife trailing behind him, came walking out of the store right past the cart. So I rolled down my window and politely asked if he could possibly move it for me so I would not have to jump out of the car and block traffic.
Right in front of his two kids, he said, and I quote, “Not on your life, buddy — are you too lazy to get out of your own damn car and move it?”
I then became completely embarrassed, and as he proceeded to walk past me, he went on and on in front of his two children to say how people are so lazy nowadays to not even get out of their own cars, and on and on until he was out of earshot of me.
So I pulled out my shot gun and shot him. No, no — in my head. I saw him mangled in a car accident — no, no, no. I then asked God to bless him, really, ’cause I wanted to get it over with and let it go.
I then found a complete stranger, a horrified woman customer, as my “Well, listen to what happened to me just now” hostage. Sorry, lady, for backing you up against the towels in the linen section of Kmart to hear my story. But she did have to agree with me that this man had the opportunity to do a good deed in front of his kids but decided to behave badly and show his kids how not to be kind to another human being.
I was thinking about it again as I was writing this, and I thought: What if I were handicapped or had recently broken my leg?
Now, when I walk the parking lots of the markets, I move carts out of the way of parking spaces. You never know whom you might help.
Michael Larson is a 14-year resident of Felton and an aspiring comedy writer. He lives with his dog, Blue, and is working to complete his Bachelor of Arts at Bethany University in addiction studies.