Comedy corner: The Remodel

As you may know by now, my sense of humor is pretty quirky, and I don’t always see things in the normal way. For example, take the new Cialis commercial that seems to air 20 times a day.
There are several versions out now, but basically, it starts out with a middle-aged couple painting their kitchen or doing some kind of household fix-up, when all of a sudden the wife looks at the man like a wild banshee from hell, giving him the “I need a remodel now!” look. And the man looks at her like, if he doesn’t think fast, he will have to put up a shelf.
Then, all of a sudden, the house turns into a brand new remodel, and they end up sitting in two separate bathtubs. (I don’t get the bathtubs idea, do you?)
One version of the commercial airs for white couples, and one airs for black couples. I have not seen one yet for Latinos or Asians, but I am sure they will arrive shortly. Or maybe they don’t need to remodel, I don’t know.
Anyway, the white couple gets a new backyard jungle with a river looking over a rainforest, and the black couple gets beachfront property.
Beachfront property! Come on. Now, we all know the rumors about how black men — well, how should I word this — are better at using power tools then other men. But come on, beachfront property!
I could make beachfront property happen, if I wanted to.
Or what about the commercial for Progressive Auto Insurance. Don’t you just want to strangle Flo? I am thinking she needs a remodel and maybe she’d be a little less annoying.
I do have to say I love the Abraham Lincoln commercial for Geico, where Mrs. Lincoln asks him to comment on how big her backside looks in that dress. Every man who has ever been asked by his girlfriend or wife how she looks before going out just cringes at this one.
And, you know, if you do not answer correctly, there’s no remodeling for you.
Michael Larson is a 14-year resident of Felton and an aspiring comedy writer. He lives with his dog Blue. Contact him at mi***************@ya***.com.