Commentary: The December struggle has begun

If there is a more culturally confusing time in the United States than the month of December, I have no idea what it is. Along with Christmas as practiced by different Christian traditions (not to mention Santa Claus), there is Hanukkah, and more recently Kwanzaa. There may be other observances also of which I am not aware.
Before moving here, I worked at the Peninsula Church Center in Seaview, Wash. Three denominations worshiped there in an experiment dating back to the early ’70s (long before I arrived). Two of them worshiped in the same space: a Presbyterian congregation and an Episcopal congregation. A Lutheran congregation worshiped in a side chapel. We got used to the difficulties of competing insurance policies, use of the space, scheduling and sharing a secretary. What was most difficult for those of us who shared the same space was December.
The Presbyterians, as many Protestants, were not too concerned with the rules of the liturgical calendar. We Episcopalians, coming from the liturgical tradition of Anglicanism, were concerned with that calendar. Thus the problem: For those Presbyterians, as for much of Protestant and secular culture, all of December is part of the Christmas celebration. Singing of carols, hanging of greens in the church, displaying a crèche and especially Christmas trees were heartfelt practices of the month. For Episcopalians, however, everything up to Christmas Eve is Advent, which has its own mood of expectant preparation and waiting, and its own decoration, the Advent Wreath. To have anything “Christmassy” in the worship space before Dec. 24 was a discordant note.
What to do? The Presbyterians could sing carols in their own service, as that did not affect Episcopalians; and they were willing to give up greens and the crèche until Christmas Eve. But they were not willing to give up the Christmas tree. Different solutions were tried, and by the time I arrived on that scene, we Episcopalians had accepted a compromise. Two trees were placed in the worship space, and for our service, we would simply not light them, pretending they were not there. But I was told of an earlier solution that made me smile — for several years, a Christmas tree was set up in a red Radio Flyer wagon, which was trundled in and out of the different services.
Several years ago, some pastors and churches in the U.S. complained of a “war on Christmas,” because some retailers instructed employees to wish customers “happy holidays” instead of “merry Christmas.” Despite the fact that “holiday” is an old use meaning “holy day,” and so not necessarily a secular greeting, the difficulties I experienced with other Christians’ traditions made me wonder how easy it would be to get everyone to agree on what a proper greeting is. For years now, businesses have tried to accommodate American diversity by including Hanukkah cards and menorahs in their displays. And while I have Jewish friends who have told me about growing up with a “Hanukkah tree” in their home, that holiday has its own story, very different from the Christmas story, and it also wanders around the calendar. In fact, if you haven’t gotten your Hanukkah cards out yet, you’re late — it started Dec. 1 this year.
A confusing time such as this seems to me like a great opportunity to listen to and respect each other’s traditions and stories. It was interesting for me to hear my Presbyterian colleague at the Church Center express his bewilderment about why the whole Advent struggle was such a big deal for us; and it was likewise interesting for him to listen to me try to help him understand. The willingness to listen is a key part of living with each other in a nation of mixed backgrounds like ours.
So I wish you a merry Christmas, however you observe it, and if you don’t, then a happy holiday of whatever form you practice. I would be glad to hear your stories, and I would be glad to tell you more about ours.
• Blaine Hammond is the rector at St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church in Ben Lomond. He has served in the post since September 2009.