Editor’s notebook: How a guy can stay interested

Oh, the Internet is a wonderful thing.
After I announced my engagement last week, I asked if there would be five votes asking me to write about the man’s perspective on planning a wedding. As I look at my inbox, I see 48 e-mails, eight phone calls, an online comment and at least a dozen verbal “ayes.” What does it mean? You all want to know!
As time and space are short today, I’ll start by saying this.
There is a preconception for grooms these days: The wedding is all about “her.”
I had to think about this a bit, because, until I got engaged, I honestly had not thought about my own wedding. I found that every girl in her 20s has. And maybe so has every teenage girl.
The preconception is that the guy doesn’t care about the details of the wedding; instead, the bachelor party and honeymoon are at the top of his list.
As I set out to prioritize what was important to me, I quickly realized that I cared that my family and close friends and church are invited and that I don’t have to wear a lame color. All the details — flowers, music selection, food, decorations, napkin color (white, black, monographed?), smells, lights, etc. — are details that don’t make much of a difference to me.
But it’s a good thing that my fiancée, Heather, does care about these things. Therefore, I care (at least a little bit).
How have I maintained interest in all the details?
As we’ve started planning, I’ve made sure that my three priorities are met, and I have decided to track our costs and make sure we stick to our budget.
In a weird way, I have more interest in the wedding because I have a goal of not going over Heather’s budget. For all the small things that she wants, we sit down and gauge against how much they will cost, and then we give them the OK or the No Way.
It appeals to my sense of tracking cash, and it appeals to her because I am involved. Obviously, we’re only a few months into the process, but so far, I am engaged — and not just to Heather.
Peter Burke, editor of the Press-Banner since July 2009, invites Scotts Valley and San Lorenzo Valley residents to submit their own engagement and wedding announcements to

pb******@pr*********.com











.