Last year my hubby and I agreed to do away with gifts; gifts that were expected, gifts that television and newspapers tell us we should buy, even gifts for our animals. We are at that stage in life where fortunately we really need nothing. When I put this no gift idea to Hubby Norm instantly a wave of relief spread across his face.
“No more mall trips?” He asked. “No more searching in women’s departments for the usual bathrobe, not even from Victoria’s Secret?”
“You’ve got the picture,” I said.
Last week I told Norm of an idea I’d had.
“Valentine’s Day is coming; this Valentine’s evening let’s just sit in front of the fireplace without TV, ignore the phone, have our usual 5 o’clock martini and talk. I’ll bring out photo albums and we’ll talk about our soon-to-be forty years together. This will be our Valentine gift to each other. No restaurants, chocolates or red roses needed here.”
Immediately Norm’s face took on an entrapment type of look, a “what is she up to and what’s this going to cost me?” look.
You see, with our 40th anniversary approaching as well as Valentine’s Day, I have been doing a great deal of reminiscing. I felt it was time, because of our ages, for me to list as many of the great things he has brought into my life as I could. I do not want to leave this wonderful life without him knowing I have not forgotten any of the little things he has said or done for me as well as the bigger ones. How secure he has made me feel. His hand on my forehead when he’s worried that I’m coming down with something; the “you sit, I’ll do the dishes” if I’ve had a tiresome day; to the always ready to listen times when something goes wrong. These are what I needed to talk about and to thank him for.
Do we stop and think of the days our partners have spent earning that month’s paycheck, paying the bills, fixing, raking, carrying out the garbage kind of things they do for us rain or shine?
And then I remembered the article I read on the web some time ago: “How to talk to a Man” by T. Wermer.
First Rule: Do not approach men for conversation when they are not in an approachable mode.
Second Rule: Remember, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus;” translated, men and women think differently. For example, I can call a girlfriend at 3 a.m. and she’s always willing to talk, but wake up a man at 3 a.m. just to talk, well, you’d better be ready for more than a few choice words.
And so, this Valentine’s eve will find Norm and me in front of the fireplace, a martini in hand and watching the news on TV. There will be no photo albums or long conversation. There will be his favorite dinner; a rib eye steak with a dollop of Stilton sauce on top and a side of crispy French fries. A copy of this column will rest alongside; my smart way of telling Hubby how much he means to me.
My friend Joann lost her husband nine years ago. Today when she meets an elderly couple she is reminded of that loss and wants to tell them to hold each other in a huge hug every day, the one thing she will never be able to do again. This advice is a good thing for each of us.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
– Colly Gruczelak, a Ben Lomond resident, loves people and loves to cook. Contact her at [email protected].
Grilled Ribeye steak with Stilton Sauce
Two 1-inch thick Ribeye steaks at room temperature
Pat steaks dry. Brush each side with:
1/2 teaspoon olive oil
1/2 teaspoon each kosher salt and ground pepper.
Cover and rest 30 min.
On hot grill, sear steak on each side for 2 minutes
Cover the grill and cook for 3to 4 minutes or until the *thermometer reads 120 degrees for rare.
Place steak on platter and cover with foil. Rest 5 minutes
Serve with large dollop of Stilton sauce.
*Note: When testing for temperature, insert thermometer horizontally in the side of the meat. Using this method, the meat is properly tested in its center.
Stilton Sauce (2 to 3 servings)
2 ounces Stilton cheese (or Blue)
4 ounces cream cheese
¼ cup mayonnaise
¼ cup sour cream
2 teaspoon diced scallions or chives
¼ teaspoon ground pepper
1/8 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
Mix well in blender or by hand.
