The holiday season may be “the most wonderful time of the year,” but it can also be a lot to manage. Between family expectations, busy schedules, travel, financial pressure, and the pressure to make everything perfect, even the most magical moments can start to feel overwhelming.
But the holidays don’t have to come with a side of extra stress. With a little intention, a shift in your mindset, and a dash of support, it is possible to move through the season with more calm, connection, and joy.
Here are a few gentle, real-life reminders to help you experience a more peaceful holiday season this year.
1. Start with realistic expectations (and give yourself permission to change them)
We all picture the holidays in a certain way—sparkling lights, warm smiles, everything going just right. But real life has traffic, weather (and gift delivery) delays, tired kids, burnt cookies, and moments where you need to step away and breathe.
Instead of striving for a perfect holiday, aim for a present one. Ask yourself, “What would make this season meaningful for me—not perfect, but meaningful?”
When you set expectations you can actually meet, the pressure drops and the joy increases.
2. Build in small moments of rest
Even five minutes counts. The holidays tend to fill up quickly. But rest doesn’t have to mean a whole day off.
It can look like:
- Sitting in your car for a few minutes before going into the grocery store or the house
- Taking a quiet walk around the block
- Letting yourself say no to one extra event
- Going to bed 15 minutes earlier
- Taking three deep breaths before answering a tough question from a relative
Small resets help your nervous system recover so you can enjoy the moments that matter most.
3. Connect with the people who make you feel grounded
Community is one of the most protective factors for mental and emotional wellbeing, and the holidays offer so many chances—big and small—to lean into connection.
Reach out to:
- A friend you haven’t seen in a while
- A neighbor you always wave to but haven’t chatted with
- A coworker who might need extra encouragement
- Family members you genuinely enjoy spending time with
Even one meaningful connection a week can make the season feel lighter and more supported.
4. Simplify where you can
Do your future self a favor with this one. We often take on more than we need to—from cooking every dish to buying gifts for everyone we know to attending every event. But the holiday season doesn’t require extravagance to be special.
Try simplifying by:
- Hosting a potluck instead of cooking everything yourself
- Choosing one thoughtful gift instead of several small ones
- Re-using decorations instead of buying new
- Setting a spending limit that feels comfortable
- Saying, “We’d love to join next year, but we’re keeping things simple this season.”
Reducing the load even slightly creates breathing room for gratitude, connection, and joy.
5. Practice presence: notice the small things
Often, the moments we remember most are the quiet ones, not the big, planned and produced ones.
Pay attention to:
- The smell of fresh pine trees or baking cookies
- The sound of laughter at the table
- Kids playing in the next room
- The brisk air on a morning walk
- The way your shoulders drop when you step into a warm home
Presence is one of the easiest ways to calm your body and mind—and it’s free.
6. Check in with yourself
And care for your mental health along the way. You don’t have to do a full reflection exercise to support your wellbeing throughout the season. Even small check-ins matter.
Try asking yourself:
- How am I feeling today—really?
- What do I need more of? What do I need less of?
- Who can I reach out to if I need support?
Self-awareness helps you catch stress early and respond with care instead of pushing through.
And remember: reaching out for support—from loved ones or a mental health professional—is not a sign of struggle; it’s a sign of strength and intention.
7. Lean into what makes this community special
One of the greatest gifts of living here is our sense of connection. We show up for each other. We check in on each other. We look out for our neighbors.
Consider:
- Attending a local holiday event
- Supporting your favorite small businesses
- Donating to a local organization
When we care for one another, the entire community feels lighter.
A Final Reminder: You deserve a holiday season that feels good to you
Whether this time of year brings joy, stress, or a mix of both, you’re not alone. We hope this year you feel more present, more supported, and more connected to the things that matter most.
Maaliea Wilbur, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, is Founder and CEO of TherapyWorks. For more information, visit mytherapyworks.com.
