We often think of stress as something we “just deal with.” But the truth is, it impacts our relationships, health and our ability to show up fully in everyday life.
One of the most important things we can do is learn how to recognize stress in ourselves and in others—because it doesn’t always look like what we expect.
Stress doesn’t always look ‘stressed out’
When we picture someone under stress, we might imagine someone frazzled, overwhelmed or running late with a coffee in one hand and their phone in the other. But in reality, stress can show up in subtle, surprising ways:
- A normally social coworker becomes quiet and withdrawn;
- A child who used to sleep well suddenly can’t fall asleep; or
- A friend who texts back instantly now leaves messages unread for days.
Stress is personal. It’s shaped by our personality, our coping tools, our environment and our past experiences. That’s why it’s important to stay curious and compassionate. Not just for ourselves, but for the people around us.
How to spot the signs of stress in others
Here are a few clues that someone you care about might be under stress:
- Behavior changes: showing up late or canceling plans more often;
- Physical complaints: headaches, fatigue, muscle tension or digestive issues;
- Mood shifts: more irritable, anxious or even unusually quiet; and
- Over-functioning or under-functioning: some people cope by doing more, while others shut down.
These signs don’t always mean something serious, but they’re a good reason to check in.
Ways to show support (without adding pressure)
Sometimes we hesitate to bring up stress or mental health because we don’t want to make it worse or say the wrong thing. The truth is: you don’t need perfect words. You just need to show you care.
Here are a few gentle ways to support someone who may be struggling:
- Say something simple and sincere: “I’ve noticed you seem a little off lately. How are you doing?” “I care about you. If there’s anything you need, I’m here.”
- Offer small, practical help: “Want to take a walk together?” “Can I bring you dinner this week?” “Want to carpool to that thing we’re both dreading?”
- Normalize the conversation: “This time of year is stressful for a lot of people. I’ve been feeling it too.”
We all need support sometimes
Stress is a normal part of life, but that doesn’t mean we have to face it alone. Whether you’re the one feeling overwhelmed or you’re worried about someone you care about, reaching out is a powerful first step.
At TherapyWorks, we believe mental health is community health. Our therapists are here to support individuals, couples, teens, kids and families through all of life’s stressors—with compassion and tools that actually work.
Let’s check in on each other. Let’s make space for real conversations. And let’s remind ourselves that asking for help is never a weakness—it’s a step toward healing.
Maaliea Wilbur, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, is Founder and CEO of TherapyWorks. For more information, visit mytherapyworks.com.
